Insecurities Times Too Many

It's that time of year again around here, when you have to walk everywhere, because a) there's not enough snow on the ground anymore for snowmobiles and b) there's not enough ground on the ground for the quad bike or the car. I don't mind too much, since I've been trying desperately to keep in the forefront of my thinking that walking is good for me. I'm glad to see the snow go, in anticipation of a lovely spring, but this year it's a little bittersweet. Chris and I bought our very first piece of togetherness, together, in the form of a brand new fabulous snowmobile that I'm absolutely tickled pink about! (A picture of me on said vehicle is currently my Facebook profile picture :D). The suckiness of it all is that Chris has driven it as far as our house, I haven't driven it at all, and it's going to have to stay parked for the summer, so I won't get to use it until winter rolls around again. Bummed! - BUT - Not gonna let it get me down, because I'm thrilled to even own it. I've named it Louise. :D My old skidoo - Charlie - is a tad bit jealous, but he'll get over it. Loyalty is in some ways better than newness, and he's been ever so loyal to me for the 6 years or however long I've had him. In other news, I have to see the Dentist tomorrow, and I hate the very idea of it. I don't know why I'm so squeamish about it really. I've been to this guy before and he's always so lovely and gentle, and he does great work! The more I remind myself of this, the more sane I hope to be when I get there tomorrow at 9! My Daycare kids are preparing their Mother's Day gifts this week, since Mother's Day is this coming Sunday. So far, they've made 'World's Best Mom' diplomas, which I have to laminate before Friday; they've made cards with cute little verses I found on the internet; 'All About Mom' fact sheets; and some doily flowers. Tomorrow, they'll make beaded bracelets and we're going to make and decorate heart/flower cookies. On Friday, we'll bag it all up and send home for the big day! I'm no closer to being a mother this year than I was last year... I say that every year, but it seems to me that Mother's Day comes around fast! Some of the 'All About Mom' fact sheets were funny. You have to love preschoolers, seriously. When they don't know the answer to something, they just make up their own reality. I'd like to be able to do that. When the world gives me lemons, instead of being depressed about it, I could just pretend the sky is not blue, but green.. and the grass is not green, but purple. Anyway, like I said, the answers were pretty comical. According to one little boy, his mom is 56! According to a little girl, her mom is as tall as a pine cone! Somebody's mom weighs 12 lbs; and her favorite dessert is vanilla ice cream with 'pink stuff' in it. It all got me to wondering what a kid of mine would say about me. Would he be so serious and smart and unimaginative that he'd just answer every question correctly? Or would she be silly and creative and say whatever was on her mind? If you're a mother, here's hoping you have a lovely Mother's Day on Sunday! And if you're Benny, you'll probably just sleep late and feel nothing. :P

'Post Title' is the title of this post.

So, it's May now, and I've really kept you in suspense of how my Christmas actually turned out, right? Huh? Huh? Well, it was lovely. Christmas didn't let me down as I had been preparing myself for. All the work and mess and putting out was worth it. (Shut up, Ben). So, as I said, it's May now. It seems to me that I haven't actually stopped long enough to gaze out the window since I wrote that last post back in December. Wintertime in my outpost part of Canada is white and wonderful. It might seem a cheesy thing to say, but it's my blog, so I'll say it: I love to look out the window during the winter months and see the freshly fallen snow and think that it's so innocent-looking. So white, so pure. No mistakes in it. It's helpful to see that kind of thing when sometimes all you can recall about your own self are the mistakes. Sometimes it's necessary for nature to point out that God isn't in the mistake-making business. As I look outside now though, there's still the usual quilt of snow on the ground, but there's a lot more ground and green to be seen. The skies are more blue than grey. I'm someone who simply adores the cold and snow of winter, but at the same time, I find spring to be refreshing to the soul. And I thank God for that today. I've been cleaning today, since it's Saturday. My Saturday cleaning usually consists of sweeping, mopping, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the porch, and generally doing anything else that needs to be done while I've got the time and initiative to do it. I'm someone who has to have the house empty of dog and husband and music blaring at an unacceptable level of loud in order to get down to work, and not just any music will suffice. I have a 'cleaning playlist' on iTunes that comes on when I need to get things done, and I must say it makes the time go much faster! Anyway, now I'm beat and drinking Pepsi and blogging and ordering clothes from JCPenney. More later. :)